No more spoons left

When I started using Instagram more and following more people who have a chronic illness I noticed that the term "spoonies" was used a lot. Being the curious person that I am I looked into what the term means and I find it very useful. A "spoonie" is someone with a chronic illness and 'spoons' are a term used to measure the energy levels that a "spoonie" has. People with some disabilities and illnesses may start the day with a certain number of "spoons" which are used up by the activities that are conducted throughout the day. Once spoons are used up, rest is needed to regenerate spoons and if all spoons are used, rest is needed as the person has no more energy left. Due to the limited number of spoons a person with an illness or disability may start the day with, planning, prioritising and organising the day so that the daily activities can be achieved. The daily activities include brushing teeth and having a shower which can be exhausting for some with certain illnesses and diseases. This 'spoon' analogy is called the Spoon Theory and is used to help those who do not have to ration their energy level to do simple activities such as brushing teeth try to understand what it's like to live with limited amounts of energy. I use this analogy at home with my husband and it helps him to understand how I am feeling during certain times of the day. I say that I start of the day with 5 spoons and rate how many spoons I will need for the activities that I have to do each day. Thankfully I can have a shower and brush my teeth and it does not affect my energy levels as much as it does others although walking up the stairs is tiring and most other activities wear me out, especially on the days I go to work where I really struggle and normally go to sleep at 8pm although sometimes it's been 7:30pm and this lasts a few days. Sometimes I feel like I start my day with no spoons and rarely do my spoons last longer than lunchtime. I also experience chronic pain which I never wanted to experience. With diabetes, people can see me wear an insulin pump and test my blood sugar and can 'see' the diabetes but chronic pain is not seen, it's hidden and it's subjective. Most people don't take it seriously when you tell them you have chronic pain (even doctors) and activities, like brushing my hair and putting my hair up and washing my hair and hanging up laundry, are now almost impossible due to the pain I experience in my neck in shoulders and upper back and the lower back hurts and arms and legs and everything hurts. Anyway. I had an echocardiogram on Thursday and am nervous about those results which I should find out on Monday and soon I will be having an endoscopy which is never fun. Last time I had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy so I'm glad this time around is just the endoscopy. I had a bone marrow aspiration done recently due to having high platelets which has come up clear which is great news! More testing to come though. Sigh. Well TTFN, ta ta for now. Have a great weekend!